Mortality
by IAmNumberThirteen
Summary: I do not believe in no-win scenarios, so lets do this before we end up freezing our butts off!
1. Ship of Dreams

**Hey guys, well, I've decided that I'm going to start a new FF about **_**Titanic**_** because I absolutely **_**LOVE **_** it and I don't think that there were that many good FF's on Lightoller so I'm going to be doing a double officer FF on both Murdoch and Lightoller and that these two meet their love of their lives…**

**Okay, please enjoy xx **

…

I've been running with all my might now, and I have no intention of stopping, I can't let them find me, I just _can't_. I have to keep running, even though it kills and even though I'm pretty sure that they'll catch up with me, I have no intention of getting through without a fight.

"Come back here, boy!"

"Yeah, I think I owe you a few slaps!"

"Hey! He stole my apples!"

…And so on and so forth. That's all I can hear, that's all I've _been _hearing for the past seven years. I mean, when you're seventeen and have been living in these streets for a long time, then you kind of get good at stealing or "burrowing" as I like to put it.

I pulled my cap further down, I have a habit of doing that when I get scared – it just gives me something to actually _do_, other than worry about the truth and how I'm probably going to die a horrible and gruesome death. No exaggeration.

But one of the good things about living like this, is that you find ways to avoid this impending death (that is, if you're not already dead first).

I looked out to the windows of old shops or houses and looked at my reflection, I could see that my hair was quickly falling out of my bun and flowing freely behind me, so I tightened my cap around me and carried on sprinting.

But further on behind me, I could see one of the grown men grab his shotgun and aim it at me. My pulse quickened and I sprinted on further and further, not daring to even look back at the comforting windows for fear that even if I turn an inch then my pace would be slowed.

_Bang!_

_Bang!_

Gunman shot twice at me and missed (it seems that he's a pretty bad shooter), and God bless everyone up there with the angels that I didn't scream. That would have blown my cover away for good and there's nothing worse than a gunman and a big old angry mob realising that not only have they been cheated by someone.

They've been cheated by a seventeen-year-old girl.

…

"Alright Miss, hold still, please."

I sucked in my breath, bracing myself for the absolute torture that was about to ensure that goes by the name of Corset.

"Ow!"

"Well, if you would just _hold still_, Miss, then we wouldn't be having this problem."

I scowled at the old rat bag and cursed silently under my breath. _I can't believe Mother even hired her! Oh yes, yes I can!_ _It's just like Mother to order the hag to take control of me – even though there's the big old Atlantic Ocean distancing us; she still has control over me. Unbelievable._

"Unbelievable." I repeated again, except this time out loud.

"What did you say, dear?" Old RatBag's sugar-coated voice called out to me and she smiled sweetly at me. _Well, if you could even call it a smile, it looks more like a scowl!_

"Nothing, _dear_," I said back, sarcastically. God knows that Mother hates it when I try to be sarcastic, so it's like a little bit of revenge for all the trouble she's put on me by hiring Old RatBag to look after me.

"Now, now, now, young Miss Constance, you know your mother hates that." She scolded me, yet _again_, for something I've done wrong. I can't believe it, why does everyone else have a say in what I'm allowed to do, but me? And plus, I don't know _why_ Mother had to call me Constance, and for what it's worth I would prefer it if people call me Connie, because as much I may dislike it, anything's better than boring old _Constance_.

"Well, _you_ always do it, so why can't I?" I answered back, feeling rather bold today and daring. Old RatBag turned me around and full-on slapped me round the face. I know that she's been doing if for _donkey's_ years, but still every time she does it it still stings, I should be used to it by now, I think.

"And no answering back either!" She then turned around and walked gracefully out the room and shut the door, finally leaving me to have some privacy.

"Good riddance!" I shouted at the now closed door, wanting to release some of my anger on the door.

I sighed and flopped back down onto the bed, trying to decide what to wear, and then having to call Old RatBag back up because "Mother says that a grown lady should _never_ do _anything_ for herself", followed by another harsh slap to my cheek. I self-consciously rubbed at my, now slightly pink, cheek, it seemed to the right side of my face that got all the abusing, but then again, that could be for the fact that Old RatBag was left-handed. I smiled fondly at the memory of when I first questioned her about it when I was, I don't know, ten years old?

We had been just been learning about the Pendle witches and I had noticed how whenever Old RatBag had to write something, she always had to do it with her left hand, so I asked her a question about why and she said that it was because she was left-handed. I then started to scream out saying that she was one of the Pendle Witches and that she was going to eat us all alive. Old RatBag then stood up, looked at Mother who nodded and then the next thing I knew—_Whack!_ As Old RatBag's hand connected to my face, I remember thinking something like "_for an old lady, she hits rather good_" before crying at the unexpected and unfamiliar action. Mother then stood up and announced that from now on, the only way that I would learn something was not to be _told_ that I was wrong, but that I should be _hit_ to show that I was wrong.

A knock at my door startled me from my past memories and _speak of the Devil_, here she comes now.

"Miss, have you picked out a dress yet?"

_Well, does it look like I have, you Old RatBag?!_ I wanted to shout out but, like a good little girl, I bit my tongue and held it in. "Not yet," I replied, not allowing any emotion to show across my face. "Just give me five more minutes, please."

Old RatBag walked up to me and smacked me across the face. _Again?! What have I done now?_

"A grown woman should not say 'please' when speaking with people far below them," she turned to walk out. "And you can have _two_ more minutes." She said, before leaving altogether.

I collapsed against the bed, not wanting anyone to see my tears fall. I knew that no one was in the room but, like Mother says, "you must always behave as though everyone can see, even when you are alone".

So, like a good girl, I picked up the nearest dress, not bothering to look at it (not that it'll matter much anyway) and called for Old RatBag.

"Finally!" She cried as she came over to help me put it on.

I wanted to die.

…

"I've got you now, you little rascal!"

I turned a corner and _bam!_ Straight into a dead end – I tried to go back the way I came before but realised that there was no use, they would only catch up with me.

I looked around, desperately hoping to find some sort of escape because they were drawing nearer and nearer to me and I—_Hey!_

A small tunnel that was surely be used for the sewage was hidden behind a wooden box. Normally, I would have ignored the tunnel and found something else, but seeing as I was in a sticky spot I _had_ to go through there.

"Hey! He went this way and—HOLD ON! Where is he?!"

"Didn't he go that way?"

"Yeah, yeah, let's go that way!"

"I'm gonna get you…"

Their fading footseteps assured me that by going inside this smelly, dark tunnel it was worth it, so I crawled all the way to the end and slid out.

In front of me were a crowd of people of all classes by one of the docks, I had a feeling that this day was a special day but I can't remember what it was…

"Hey, hey, hey!" Some random guy was shouting out, and because the guy was just so _loud_ I had no choice but to listen.

"Today is the day the grandest ship in the world, the _Titanic_, sails on her maiden voyage and…" The guy started going on about a bunch of other stuff but I had lost interest. _This is my chance_, I thought to myself, my plan forming inside my head, _if I could sneak on board then I won't have to deal with England anymore, I could start a life in America! Start it all over!_ And I liked the sound of that!

I started to run over to _Titanic_, or the Ship of Dreams, as some like to call it. The Unsinkable Ship ever… _Titanic_.

I accidently bumped into some first class person's old maid and she yanked me by the hair and threw me to the ground. A couple of other nearby first class people were either amused at the entertainment or disgusted by the fact that some low-life was seen on _their_ territory.

But one first class woman with golden blond hair all neatly tied up in a bun gasped at the maid (which I have to assume was _hers_) and lent me a hand. I simply stared at it, wondering if I were the target of some sort of practical joke, but I was simply too tired to argue so held onto her hand as she lifted me up. She smiled at me and I felt my features shift into a smile – something I haven't done in _years_, and by the looks on her face, neither had she.

"What's your name?" She asked me, and I still felt it weird that a first class person was actually speaking to me. I realised that this wasn't a prank because of the facial expressions of all the first class people around me. She was being genuinely _honest_.

"Nina." I replied, still slightly hesitant and weary of her. I put my hands on top of my head to play with my cap, but I found that it wasn't tere. _It must have fallen off when I was in the sewage._ I thought glumly, plus the fact that my hair had come undone so everyone was staring at a _woman_ dressed as a _man_ third class. _Great_.

But nevertheless, this strange first class person actually seemed, well, _happy_, to speak to me and she was about to say something, but I guess that I'll never know what she was going to say because then I saw one of the officers on the ship come and walk in this direction, right towards _me_.

I sprinted as fast as I could, several other people joining in the chase to catch me, but all my years as a homeless person had taught me well, forI was a lot faster than all of them, but they were still hot on my trail.

I saw a big vehicle being lifted away on some sort of platform and I jumped up to hold my hands on the platform, wait for all those fanatics of mine to run straight ahead, and then I let go and ran left. The others were really angry at me – if their facial expressions were anything to go by – and sprinted in my direction. Well, all apart from the officer, who ran straight back into _Titanic_ for some reason.

But I ran.

And I did not stop.

Not until I reached one of then entrances to _Titanic_.

I ran in.

"Gotcha."

…

That poor, homeless girl (Nina) looked utterly terrified, but of what I do not know. Me, probably, or the other first classers, or the fact that she was being chased down by a gang of people. I felt so sorry for her, though.

"You idiot!" Old RatBag hissed in my ear. "When I think you've finally gotten the hang of it, you go and speak to one of the ghastly vermin! Despicable! Despicable, I say!" She ranted on, and I had a pretty good feeling that if we weren't in public right now, then she would have no problem smacking me again and again until I beg for her to stop, and even then she probably wouldn't.

"I am so sorry for that, Miss. We will be catching her as soon as we can." One of the officers was talking to me, he had blonde hair and was rather cute.

"Oh no. It's no trouble, I assure you." I replied, a small smile gracing my lips.

"Oh, sorry, where are my manners? I am Second Officer, Charles Lightoller at your service ma'am." He winked at me. I blushed.

"I'm Constance Meregishau." I replied, not taking my eyes off of him. Not _wanting _to take my eyes off of him.

Suddenly, Old RatBag reappeared at my side and pinched my arm rather painfully, Officer Lightoller looked angry for a minute there but then returned to his normal composure.

"I'm sorry, but Miss Meregishau has to go now." She stated and dragged me off, I dared for one last look at him and smiled before I was dragged off.

"Come on! Or do you _want_ to be left behind—Now what?!"

I looked to where she was staring and gasped at the sight. One of the officers had Nina's arms handcuffed to her back and was shouting at her.

I ran on up to the scene, not even looking back when Old RatBag called me to turn back. I _had_ to help her!

…

"Now then, you little trickster! What have we got here?"

The officer was looking at me, but not looking at me, it seemed as though he was lost in thought.

"Hm… Maybe we should throw you overboard?" He suggested and I tensed.

"But Sir, that couldn't work because we haven't even left the docks yet." I opened my eyes as I realised what I had just said. _Way to go_!

He smiled a little at my knowledge (not that it didn't take a genius to figure it out) and put his fingers up to his lips as he was, once again, lost in thought.

"We?" He asked. "Who is 'we'? There is only the crew and the passengers and—" I opened my mouth to answer back but he carried on before I could say anything. "And you are _not_ a passenger!" my shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Hey! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Me and the officer both turned around to look at the mysterious voice and my eyes widened (once again) in surprise. _It was the first class woman!_

The officer raised one eyebrow at the speaker. "Her?" He asked, doubtfully, and I mock glared at him as he continued to feel doubtful. "You've been looking everywhere…for _her_?" He jerked a thumb in my direction.

"Yes Sir, that is correct." The woman stated, not even turning a blind eye at his doubt. "For this _'her'_ you mentioned has a name – for she is my sister."

Both me _and_ the officer stared at her surprise. _Why_? I kept asking myself. _Why is this woman putting everything on the line for me?_ Even my vast knowledge couldn't work it out.

"Yes that's right, kind Sir. Now please, let us through." She said, not even caring at the numerous stares she received from people – myself included.

The officer still looked doubtful, but let us both through, though not without asking: "But, excuse me Miss for my bluntness, but if she _is_ really your sister, then why is she dressed like a poor person.

Finally, the woman was at loss for words, we both stared at her, until I came up with something. "I was… acting out. Y'know, seeing how it would be if I was a poor person." The officer glanced at me and I began sweating. "Which I'm NOT! Obviously, I mean, why would I be?"

The officer looked us over one more time and nodded to let us go. I breathed a sigh of relief and the woman next to me did the same too. Feeling rather bold, I dared to ask her a question.

"You know, I never got your name."

The woman hesitated for a moment, before looking me right in the eye and smiled.

"Connie. Connie Meregishau."

**Wow! That's the longest chapter I've ever done! Please please **_**please**_** read and I dedicate this chapter to all those passengers and crew who lost their lives 101 years ago today when **_**Titanic **_**struck the iceberg. R.I.P**


	2. A Little Colour

**Hey guys, thanks for viewing my story and I apologize to Stardust Parade, who said that my first chapter was confusing, I realised that it is a bit, so I'm sorry for that.**

**Anyway, let's carry on with the next chapter **

…

Nina and I both walked down the corridors that led to the first class staterooms. I glance over slightly at Nina, not surprised to find that she is looking down at her feet – somehow knowing where to go even while she's not looking up. I've always wanted to be able to do that.

"You're not what I expected, you know."

The shock from the fact that Nina actually spoke to me of free will made me jump in surprise. When I looked at her again I could see a fairly amused smile playing against her lips and I involuntarily blushed.

"No?" I asked, trying to not get flustered again.

"No." She stated, this time taking her time to look around at our surroundings, I could see her bright green eyes widen in amazement as she looked at all this fine luxury. I found myself looking around as well, but not in the same sense as Nina. She hadn't been brought up with luxury like I have, so she hasn't lost her taste in it. I have. That's pretty sad, if you think about it.

"All the other first class woman run—no, sorry, _walk_—around as if nothing's happening. If someone's dying on the street, they'll just turn a blind eye. If there's a third class woman dressed as a boy—" I looked to her as she raised her eyebrows at me—"trying to get on a ship of dreams then they'll just act as if she doesn't exist. Why, Titanic could be sinking and they'd still be oblivious to it all."

I now gazed upon Nina in a new light – _she truly has a way with words_. I notice she spoke with a slight French accent, but no one will have noticed it if they hadn't been paying attention.

"Why," I replied, a smile dancing across my painted lips. "I think you may just be correct in your assumption,"

Nina smiled at me, and she really did look pretty, she looked…well…_amazing_. I don't know why she doesn't have a suitor—

_Oh yeah, she's just third class_.

"Is…something the matter, Connie?" Nina asked me with concerning eyes, I felt thrilled beyond belief that I had actually managed to gain a friend like Nina – someone who actually _cares_ about me, someone who doesn't try and change me to be someone I'm not.

"No, no," I said in a rush, not wanting to worry her (and I'm pretty sure I've gone bright pink. "Not at all, everything's fine. Everything's fine." I repeated the last two words for some bizarre reason, but Nina didn't seem to care.

I decided to ask her another question; I wanted to get to know a bit more about her.

"Nina,"

"Yeah," She replied as we rounded a corner. I lead the way.

"I know it's not my place to pry, but – forgive me if I'm wrong – you speak with a slight French accent. I don't mean to be rude, and you don't have to answer if you don't wish to, but _are_ you French."

I watched her green eyes lose their light a little as they darted back down to look at the ground. _Oh my,_ I cursed myself. _Now you've gone and upset her, brilliant – _just _brilliant_.

"Um…Yes, yes I am French," Nina said, gaining a bit more confidence in her as she lifted her head back up. "I'm sorry if that's a problem, but that's just who I am, and I'm not gonna deny it—"

"No, no!" I said far too quickly. _My goodness, she must think I'm half-insane, which I must be these days I mean, I've actually _left_ Old RatBag behind, not that that's a bad thing but—_

"Oh my God," I said, quietly at first – at least, that's what I assume because Nina scrunched up her face trying to hear what I said.

"Sorry, what did you say?" See, exactly! But I wasn't focused on her right at that moment – I was more concerned about Old RatBag and what Mother's going to say when she hears that I've left my maid at Southampton and swapped her with a "gutter rat" as Mother likes to call them, not that it wasn't worth it, mind you.

"Oh my God," I repeated, but a bit louder this time. "Oh my God—"

"Okay, okay, I think I get the point," Nina pointed out. "But why 'oh my God'? What've you done?"

"I've left my old maid, you know, the one that threw you to the ground, and now she's going to tell my Mother and Mother's just going to flip and most likely murder me and—Oh goodness! What have I done?" I broke down in sobs at the end and Nina, the poor child, just stood there with a frightened look on her face, trying to calm me down (unsuccessfully, might I add).

Just then, an officer passed and saw me crying, but with Nina having a frightened look on her face he must have assumed that she had attacked me.

"Oi, Oi, Oi!" He shouted at both of us. "What's going on here?" He spoke with an English accent, and had a voice that I knew I should've recognized but for the life of me, I can't remember names that well.

Nina said nothing I just stood there weeping out - which probably didn't help matters – so the officer just grabbed Nina by the shoulders and shook her, and it didn't look too friendly for what I saw either.

"Well, what's happened?"

Silence.

The officer pointed at me. "Did you do this?"

More silence – except from pathetic little snivelling which had gotten us into this mess in the first place.

With no answer from either of us he brought a pair of handcuffs and tied Nina's hands behind her arms – _again_! _Poor Nina, I don't know how she must stand this_.

"Right, you're under arrest." He said, he then turned to one of the passing stewards. "Fetch the Master-At-Arms right this instant!"

Finally, I managed to pull myself together. "Stop, Sir," I cried out. "Stop it! My friend Nina here has done nothing wrong, I've just made a terrible mistake and now I'm just worried about the outcome and—"

"Wait a minute!" He interrupted me (rather rudely, might I add). "If that's true about what you say there Miss, and don't think I doubt you for one second, but if it _is_ true, then why did she have a frightened look on her face, then? Hm?" He asked me, and I didn't really believe him when he said that he didn't doubt me because if he _didn't_ doubt me then why is he asking me all these questions?

"Well, Sir, she suddenly just dropped down and sobbed and I had no idea what to do, between you and me though, Sir," Nina looked both ways before leaning close into his ear and saying, "I think that she's half-insane."

I stared, shocked at Nina. _Well, after all I've done for you, you—_But then I looked at her face which was all dead-pan serious, except her dancing eyes gave it away. _Why, she was teasing me_. I shook my head in amazement. _Trust Nina to make light of a situation like this_.

But the officer, of course, actually looked like he _believed _her, for he had his arm right above his head in an attempt to smack her, but I had caught onto his arm just before it could connect with her face.

"Officer, please," I pleaded. "My friend here is right, please let her go, it wasn't anything. Promise," I looked up at him with my most pleading eyes, and he kept up his charade for a couple of seconds before finally relenting.

"Well…alright," He sighed. "This is the first time I'd actually caught a proper criminal and I had hoped that I would've been able to present it—" I glared at the officer, "—sorry, _her_, to the Captain and it would be fun."

Nina started to laugh, "Yep, well, you have no idea how many times I've been caught out and escaped so I doubt someone of your _inexperience_ would've been able to handle a _criminal_ like me there, mate. But, if you wanna believe, then you do that – no one's stopping you."

Both me and the officer stared at Nina in amusement as she finished her little monologue. "What?" She asked innocently as she had caught us both staring at her. The officer and I both looked at her for a moment before we started to crack up laughing.

"Nothing, nothing," I managed to say in-between gasps of air.

"Absolutely nothing at all," The officer said.

Nina pretended to look hurt. "Well, I may be a criminal but at least I'm not _that_ rude," she said and that didn't really help me and the officer because we were off again.

Once we had finished, the officer cleared his throat, before looking at me funnily. "This is gonna sound weird," he started, "but I think I've seen you before, somewhere…?"

It suddenly then clicked to me. "Oh," I gasped, "you're the officer from the docks." I struggled to remember his name. "Um…_Lightoller_, that's it."

He laughed at me. "Yes, that's right. Second Officer Charles Lightoller, at you service ma'am, I'll escort you back to your cabin, if you want.

I looked at him for a moment and then smiled. "Well, certainly," I said, giving him a toothy grin, "I'd be delighted."

He offered me his arm, "And if there's anything I can do for you, within my range, then please, let me know,"

Someone behind us cleared their throat and I tore my gaze away from the officer to look at Nina who held up her arms behind her back. "Well, for starters, you can get me out of these handcuffs."

…

_I can't believe it._

I looked around at all this luxury that my eyes saw before me. _I can't believe that a young first class woman – probably round about my age – actually let me on this ship. Put her neck on the line…for _me.

Connie must have saw me staring for she said, "Yes, rather pretty, don't you think?"

I stared at her in shock. "_Rather_ pretty? It's absolutely _gorgeous_!"

She smiled at my enthuasiam before getting one of her many bags. She then frowned at me, before turning back into the contents of the bag.

"What?" I asked her, slightly worried now. "What is it? What are you doing?"

She sent me a reassuring smile. "Oh nothing, Nina dear. Just trying to find out which of my clothes would be able to fit you, because—" she looked me up and down, "—you're a bit on the small side."

I looked down at myself, and then back up at her. "What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?" I asked her.

Connie glanced up from her bag and gave me a _do-I-really-have-to-tell-you_ looks, before going back through her stuff.

I sighed. "Okay," I said, giving in for the first time in my life. "But don't you _dare_ make me wear one of those damned corsets! I've heard how much trouble they can cause."

Connie sent me a knowing look, _she's probably gone through the trouble of corsets too_, I thought to myself.

"Don't worry," she said, "I won't make you wear one, it's only Old RatBag that—"

"_Old RatBag?_" I repeated, amused at how a first class lady actually uses those words in her everyday life. _Though if Old RatBag is the one who threw me down to the floor, then I couldn't agree more with her choice of wording_.

Connie blushed bright pink before mumbling, "I can't remember her name, and she's an absolute nightmare – _honestly_, both her and Mother are exactly alike. I can't think of anyone that's more alike than those two."

I raised my eyebrows at her, making her blush even more. "That's good, though," I said. "I admire you for naming her that, very thoughtful."

She looked at me as though having a debate in her mind whether I'm actually serious or not (which I'm not really sure about myself).

I cleared my throat, wanting to break this awful silence. "Anyway, _where_ are we going?"

She sighed. "To lunch with the other first class passengers,"

My jaw literally dropped to the floor. _I'm supposed to be actually _eating_ with snobs? And, like, _talking_ to them? Oh my God, what is the world coming to?_

Connie must have noticed my expression for she let out a light chuckle. "Don't panic," she said, trying to reassure me, but failing miserable. "Everything's under control."

"But anyway," I said, looking at the grandfather clock on top of the mantelpiece. "It's only 10 o'clock."

"_Exactly_," She stated which made _no sense at all_. "This is why we need to hurry now!"

I let out a huge groan as she returned, once again, to her many bags of clothes.

"How many bags do you, like, _actually need_ to take on a ship? It's not like we're living here for the rest of her lives…is it?" I said, wanting to try and make conversation.

Connie sighed. "You wouldn't understand, Nina, you don't know what it's like." _Well she's obviously not in the mood to talk, but guess what? I _am.

"You know, you and Officer Lightoller looked _real_ cosey back there…why, are you _sure_ you're not secret soul mates?" I teased, which she didn't understand because she looked at me with a total blank expression.

_I give up, it's completely hopeless trying to joke with a first class lady_…_hey—I don't even know her name_!

"Hey, Connie?"

She gave me one of _those_ fed up looks. "What now?" She sighed – which seemed to be her favourite thing to do.

"How old are you, exactly?"

She jumped at the start of that question, and I started to panic. _Was it something I said or—_

"Nina," she hissed. "You should never, _ever_, ask a first class person that, _ever_! Do you understand?"

I stared at her, confused at how quickly her mood could change. "Uh…yes?" I made it into a question because I didn't really get what she was asking me.

She started to back off now, "I don't mind you asking that, just please, _please_, promise me that you won't say it to any of the others, okay?"

"…okay?" I said, and she stared at me until I answered her more confidently. "Okay." Replied.

"Good…" her head disappeared in her bag again until she said, "Oh, and by the way, I'm seventeen years old."

I laughed in surprise. "Hey, guess what? Me too!" I started to dance around the room (I don't know why so don't bother asking me).

Finally, she snapped. "Nina! _Please_ will you just go somewhere else – I'm trying to concentrate here!"

"Fine," I snapped back. "I'll just be up at the top deck."

"No wait!" she said, jumping up and thrusting a dress into my arms. "Put this on," she instructed.

I looked at the fabric in my arms and back at her. "No way,"

"Nina, _please_," she pleaded. "Or do you want to back down to third class?"

I sighed and once again looked at the oddly coloured dress in my arms. "…Fine," I said, giving in.

"Great!" Connie said, gaining back her contagious smile, making me smile too.

…that was, until I saw what I looked like in the mirror with my hair all done up, the dress on, make-up on _and_ high heels.

"Oh…my…_God_!"

**Okayyy, so that's my second chapter. Please can people review or at least send a message so that I do know that people are actually reading this story, please.**

**Thank you **


	3. Nothing Out Ahead Of Us, But Ocean

**Hey guys – thank you soooo much to those who have supported me, and viewed this story and have just been reviewing! It means so much to me!**

**And yes, Murdoch **_**is**_** in this chapter – and I hope you like it **

…

I stared – shocked to find that the beautiful and stunning person, looking equally as shocked as me, was staring straight back at me.

_It's me_. _That's really…me._

I stood there; jaw, literally, _on the floor_. I was dimly aware of Connie telling me something about how "proper ladies" should mask their emotions so that you aren't an open book – but I wasn't paying any attention.

_That's really me._

But there was something missing in my reflection, something that wasn't quite right. That _was_ me (as much as it shocks me), but it wasn't at the same time.

I don't really know _what_ was missing; there was just something _not there_.

I scanned my appearance, desperately trying to find the piece of me that wasn't me – my aluminous bright green eyes taking everything in, head to toe.

"You know if you keep your mouth hanging open like that you'll soon be attracting flies."

_That_ snapped me back to attention (no pun intended) and I inwardly cringed at the first experience I had of fly eating when I relished in the food on the market and imagined how they would feel inside my stomach. You can't blame me really – I was only eleven!

_And poor,_ I quickly reminded myself – finally managing to find something wrong with my dazzling and amazing appearance.

_This isn't me…I'm not bred for this sort of fancy attire. I need some form of _me_ to let myself known to the world; otherwise I'll just be like one of the other fancy, snobbish, hellish first class passengers on this ship_.

I was only aware that I had said that all aloud when I took in Connie's offended face. I blushed bright red (something I don't normally do) and started to apologize. "Connie, I—"

I was swiftly cut off. "No, no, Nina. I understand, what you have experienced with the _rich_ population isn't something that I would recommend someone of…uh…_your_ status to indulge in." I raised my eyebrows at this, causing Connie to start stumbling over her words. "Not that I, uh…Oh!" I mock pretended to be angry at this, something I had managed to master at the time I was fifteen, and Connie bought it entirely. Now, it was her turn to blush beetroot. "Just…please don't insult the _other_ side of the first class people, please. I beg you."

I lost my fierce demeanour and burst out laughing – signalling Connie to join in as well.

"You idiot!" She exclaimed once we had calmed down. "I can't _believe_ you made me believe that you _were_ truly angry!"

I chuckled at this. "Why do the "more fortunate among us" use long words to express their meaning? Is it to try and catch us off our guard? Because I'll tell you something – you certainly had me _baffled_!"

Connie laughed at this. "Well….I don't really know. I've just always been told to do that, I guess." She sighed, obviously deep in thought, and I didn't press the matter, not wanting to cause another "argument" again.

"_Anyway_," she started, full of life again – and I feared what she was about to ask. She gestured to my dress. "How did you like the dress?"

_Oh yay – finally on a topic I have _loads _to talk about_, I thought to myself sarcastically. I thought about saying it out loud, but then realised how Connie might take that so thought better of it.

Instead, I forced a fake smile and stated, "Oh, it's absolutely _fabulous_! I can't _wait_ for everyone to see me in this!"

Connie stared at me, one eyebrow raised (_how on _Earth_ can people do that? I've _always_ wanted to be able to do that!_). "You don't like it do you?" She said, with a hint of a smile evident in the tone of her voice.

I cracked a weak smile. "No," I admitted.

Connie sighed. "Oh well, I'm sure you'll get used to it—" I opened my mouth to press another matter of complete emergency, but she must have somehow sensed what I was going to ask, for she answered my unspoken question. "—and _yes_, Nina, I'm afraid that you _will _have to wear a corset."

I sagged, not really liking the answer. "But no one will even notice!" I argued, however Connie was having none of it.

"_No_, Nina," she said, sharply, in a tone that brooked no nonsense. "You _will_ be wearing that corset, and that's an order! I will be bringing one of the maids up and she will see to it that you be wearing the corset!"

I mumbled words that were too inappropriate for her _pure_ hearing. "I'll just be going out onto the boat deck – _I _at least want to see the _Titanic_ leave Southampton." And with that, I left the room.

…

_Poor Nina_, I sighed as I finished tiding up my hair. _You don't know what you're in for._

Sometimes, I wonder whether I _should_ have let her take Old RatBag's place – because it seems to be causing more good than bad and Nina doesn't even seem one bit grateful!

I picked up Nina's old rags that she had left on the floor. _Ugh! Are these what she actually…_wears_?_ And then I was back to my internal debate whether I should've let Nina on _Titanic_.

I checked the grandfather clock that has been installed amidst the luxury's that make up _Titanic_. 11:24 the clock read, and Nina left at 11…well that's simply too long to be left standing up on the boat deck! I should think that Nina be back by now.

I stood up and followed out where Nina left.

…

I looked around at all the other passengers all waving about to friends, family, their loved ones – or just waving for the heck of it.

I looked over and saw a third class passenger waving to the crowd, leaving his friend standing, bewildered, among the many other wavers.

"You know somebody?" He asked, clearly confused (and judging by his accent he was Italian).

"Of course not, that's not the point," The other man with dirty blonde hair answered – American, before turning back to the crowd of adoring _Titanic_ fans.

The Italian man simply followed in his dear friend's footsteps, and upped his game. "Goodbye," he shouted, matching the American's enthusiasm. "I will never forget you!"

I laughed aloud at this exchange, wondering what this adventure will hold for me. _This is going to be my first time at sea_, I mused inwardly, and then panic started to settle in. _What if I become sea sick? What if me and Connie end up hating each other? What if there's an accident and I end up drowning? What if_…

My "what if" train of thought was only broken when I accidently bumped into one of _Titanic's_ officers. I had my head down (as I was accustomed to) as I mumbled a pathetic apology. "I'm sorry, Sir…"

"None taken," The officer replied…with a voice that sounded scarily familiar…

I looked up and was startled to find that it was the very same officer that had threatened to throw me overboard. He looked just as surprised and unnerved to find me here as I was him.

"Uh…" I started, not really knowing what to say. _Say something, damn you!_ I cursed myself. _Maybe if you make friends with the officer then maybe he won't report you to the officials…_ I glanced up at his stern expression and shuddered slightly from fear. _Well, anyway, it's worth a shot!_

"…hi," I offered meekly, and gave him a little wave, even though we were standing less than a meter apart I still felt the need to do something with my hands. _Well done, Nina. Bravo!_

"Hi," he replied – and in my dazed state I noticed that he spoke with a slight Scottish accent – the last time I saw him I was in a near-overboard situation so I doubt that I'd have decided to remember something like that. _But, blimey! I'm hearing all sorts of accents today!_

"I'm Nina," I said, and held out my hand for a shake or something of that sort – but to my utter and complete surprise he leaned down and gently laid a soft kiss along the back of my hand.

_Damn!_ Some part of me screamed, _you really should've remembered to wear those gloves that Connie wears. _It wasn't just the feeling of someone leaving a kiss on your hand, it's the _notion_.

"Hello, Nina. I am First Officer William McMaster Murdoch." He replied, and I had some trouble trying to remember his full title.

"Why, hello, McMaster Murdoch...uh…Fourth Officer?" I asked – well, it was _supposed_ to be an introduction but turned into a sort of question.

To my surprise, Murdoch started to laugh. "It's _William_ McMaster Murdoch and I'm _Titanic's First _Officer...Well, I can tell that you aren't used to long titles, am I right?"

"No, Sir," I replied, suppressing the urge to salute him – what? I panic!

"Well, can you at least remember _your_ title?" He asked me, and I didn't realise what he was asking until I nodded.

"Yes, it's…uh…" I racked my brains to try and remember _anything_ that Connie tells me – _and from now on_, I pledged, _I shall always listen to whenever Connie is speaking because _I damn well need to_!_

"Uh…" _Come on, Nina – think! What did Connie introduce herself as when she first rescued you from the clutches of that man_—I peered up a bit to stare at Murdoch, who looked down at me with one eyebrow raised—_damn, why can everyone else do that but me? Anyway, Nina, focus! She said she was…she said she was…_

"Meregishau," I announced, proud that I _had_ managed to remember it. "My family name is 'Meregishau'."

"Finally," Murdoch exclaimed. "I was beginning to wonder if you had lost your sanity! What with pretending to be someone from the lower classes and all that."

I gulped nervously and swallowed thickly, trying to ease the pressure of the non-existent lump in my throat. "Yes," I laughed uncertainly, hoping that he would buy this lie. "I myself ask myself that on many occasions." I inwardly groaned when I realised just how true that statement of mine was.

Murdoch grinned at me and offered me his arm. "You want to walk with me?" He asked me, noticing my blank expression. I smiled a little at him – a _true_ smile – and said that I would love to.

We linked arms and I began to find myself really uncomfortable walking around the ship deck with a man who had previously tried to throw me overboard – but I mustered up all the courage I could to prove to myself that I _could_ to this.

"Have you ever been on a ship before?" Murdoch asked me, breaking the awkward silence we had managed to create, before we infected anyone else with it's germs.

"No," I replied, still wary of him and being cautious so as to not reveal too much about myself. Past experience come back to haunt me. "To tell you the truth, Sir, I've never really been swimming either,"

"Ah," he said, as if he had managed to find the missing piece to a jigsaw puzzle. "So _that_ was why you tensed up as I suggested we throw you overboard."

I found myself going flustered as I realised – _yet again_ – that I really should've taken Connie's advice and hidden my emotions away so no one else could see them, but I quickly managed to recover my posture and take on a stern tone.

"Well, that _and_ the fact that, oh, _you were only going to throw me overboard_!" I cried out, unable to keep my voice down, only aware of how loud I was until everyone of this side of the ship was staring at me.

Thankfully, Murdoch managed to save us both with a quick answer of, "Oh, don't mind her, she's just a little bit mental, so please, ignore her," Boy, was he making it hard for me to like him!

"Gee, _thanks _for that McMaster," I stated, dryly, not caring that I had gotten his name wrong – _again_. "But I _really_ don't need saving!"

"Well, whoever said that I was saving _you_? I am pretty sure I was protecting my reputation, imagine what the Captain would say about all this!"

I gasped at him in utter shock, horrified to know that he would dare say these things about me. I tore my arm away from his, a fierce anger burning within my green eyes. _Well, I'm not backing down without a fight_, I concluded.

"No one said that you _had_ to walk with me – and if my memory serves me right—"

"Which is never," Murdoch interjected.

"_If_ my memory serves me right, _you_ were the one who asked _me_ for a walk, not the other way round!"

"Maybe I asked out of politeness,"

"Maybe I agreed out of politeness,"

We both proceeded to have a staring competition – which _I_ was winning… - until one of the other officers of the high and mighty _Titanic_ called for Murdoch, asking for his help.

"Gladly," Murdoch stated, gruffly, as he withdrew from battle, following the other officer (who I noticed had a thick Welsh accent, as I recall).

I stuck my tongue out at their retreating, not caring whether it was condemned as "childish" or "vulgar".

I sighed, wondering what else to do to pass the time – when my eyes fell open the bridge. _An empty_ _bridge_.

A mischievous smirk found its way onto my lips.

I sneaked over there, careful not to get caught after years of practise, and found myself inside. _With nobody about_.

I decided to pretend to be Captain and steer the ship, deciding that if I got caught then Murdoch would have no trouble telling the Captain about my "mental issue".

I looked out to sea and was met with nothing out ahead but ocean.

…That was, until a gigantic ship came heading straight for us.

***dun, dun, dun* Well, I've decided to leave it at a cliffhanger and a question: What would **_**you**_** do if you were Nina?**

**Once again, thank you to all those who have reviewed and those who haven't – **_**what are you waiting for?**_


	4. I Can See The Statue of Liberty Already

**Hey, I'm sorry I haven't written for a while **** I just didn't know what to do and whether I should continue… But, after many wonderful, **_**beautiful**_**, reviews and PMs I have decided to continue. Though I do wonder whether you guys are still alive… ;)**

**Oh, also this story isn't proper history, I'm just making this all up just to say **** Please don't believe me, but do enjoy it – that's what I say! ;D**

**BY THE WAY I DO OWN TITANIC! (Joking… It was just too good to pass up!)**

…

_Connie_

"Great! Just…_great_!" I sighed as I searched our state room for the millionth time, checking through every door – even our own private promenade deck – but there was no sign of the poor little, green-eyed, _stupid_ girl.

Groaning, I tilted my head back, hoping that our God up there can hear me and help me find the irresponsible girl who is probably floating along the bottom of the ocean. (Well, when I'm through with her, she'll be _praying_ that's all she'll be.)

I didn't have enough energy to stand up – oh, what with _searching our state room that has wayyyy too many rooms for my stupid plus-one_ – so I unceremoniously flopped down on the plush, made-up bed and I closed my eyes.

"This is not fair. I cannot believe I did that – what sort of rich young girl offers _this_—" I gestured around the place with my hands (however I didn't actually know where they went because my eyesight was obscured by the beautiful, decorated, intricate design on the pillows...) "—to someone like Nina? Plus, I now have to face the wrath of Old RatBag and Mother – and, to top it all off, I don't even know what I'm going to do once I get to New York. Great. _This_ is my life. No one is so stupid – so come and take a look at the faulty girl!"

"Well, I don't think you're faulty, Miss,"

"Ah!" I screamed; my body shooting up as I searched for the intruder with the unknown voice. "God… 'James', you scared the Hell out of me!" I said as I looked to one of my servants that has been assigned to me and read his nametag.

"I'm so sorry, Miss, that won't happen again!" He said, appearing as much shaken as I was.

"No, no. It's alright, I assure you." I placed my hand over my racing heart in the hopes of calming my raging heartbeat – with little success.

"Still, Miss, I would like to offer you my most profound apologies—"

"I _said_ that it's alright, good sir," I snapped but then immediately regretted it.

"Of course, Madame," He said, bowing slightly. "I only came to inform you that this _guest_ of yours – Nina, was it? – is currently up on deck. However, I don't think that—"

"Oh, my God! Really? Thank you _so_ much, John!" I yelled, contemplating kissing the unsuspecting servant but then decided not to, that would probably be cause him to have a heart attack and that would be a cruel thing to do.

"Um, it's 'James' actually, Miss – and your friend is—"

"Sorry, got to go, John, I've got to go find my stupid little friend," I was so happy that I went ahead and gave him a hug before grabbing the nearest fur coat I could find and wrapping it around my thin, frail shoulders that were apparently "_the arms of a true woman_", before scurrying out of my state room in search of Nina.

"It's James," the servant said before smoothing out my self-crinkled bed sheet.

…

_Nina_

I was scared out of my mind.

A ship – a _massive_ ship was heading straight for us, the _RMS Titanic_ and I was the only person who had noticed, or the only person who stood a damn chance of stopping it.

My breath was coming off in short, sharp puffs, and no matter how much I did this, there didn't seem to be enough air inside my body.

I placed my hands to my temples and massaged them in the hope, the vain hope, that my hands might circulate some good ideas into my stupid brain.

"Oh shit. Shit shit shit shit _shit_!" I cursed, not caring about talking politely. I grew up on the rough streets of Southampton, I knew how to curse and play dirty – however, swearing and rough fighting wouldn't do me a fat lot of good as the _SS New York_ (I _do_ know how to read a newspaper, not matter what Connie or anyone else thinks) was about to hit us and plunge us all down to a watery grave.

And I don't even know how to swim.

Just the thought – just _contemplating_ – of swimming or water is enough to send me into a panic attack and I just can't afford to have that right now because if I panic, everyone will die, I'm the one in the control room for crying out loud!

But, unfortunately, reasoning with myself about _not_ thinking about water kind of involves me thinking about water, doesn't it? And before you know it…

"Deep…d-d-deep…b-breaths-s…"

_We're screwed._

"Nina… _Nina! _Oh my _God_!"

I turned around at the sound of my name being called by none other than… "_Connie_!" I breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank _God_ you're here!"

"Never mind _that_ – what the _Hell_ are you _doing_ up here?!" She seemed concerned about me – genuinely concerned about me – though that was layered under vast amounts of anger and disbelief.

Because I was still in the middle of my panic attack (and I had to put my head between my legs because I couldn't breathe – no one ever tells you how hard that is _whilst_ standing up…) I could only point at the big ship speeding straight toward us.

I heard a sharp intake of breathe coming from my far right that could be from none other than Connie.

"What…what shall we do? What _should_ we do?" This _was_ worrying – Connie was sporting a small, meek voice instead of her sort of loud, first-class voice (though not as loud as all the others who desperately want _yearn_ for the attention, a spotlight, Connie's rather quiet for a first class _lady_, I often forget that).

"That's what I've been trying to work out!" I screamed at her, my nerves making me unstable. "I don-don't want t-to be the one t-to send us al-all to a w-watery gra-grave," I said, now while crying – my emotions all over the place.

_Once again – screwed…_

"Nina…Nina, it's alright, just take a deep breath and think. Just _think_. What should we do? Nina…_Nina_!"

I couldn't think, couldn't feel. It was like I was drifting along down the bottom of the ocean – like I was zoned out, someplace else. But there was a face, a beautiful face, smiling down at me, and as I looked down I was wearing a beautiful, simple dress.

"Nina, you can do this," the beautiful lady said, still smiling. "You can do this. Just think."

Then, out of nowhere, a slap came intruding into my face.

I clasped my aching sore cheek with both hands as I looked over to Connie with an accusing and shocked look in my eyes. "Ow," I said after a long while of silence.

"Sorry," Connie replied, looking like she actually meant it – normally when people hurt me and I say 'ow' they don't really look sincere, normally they smirk or laugh mockingly, but Connie actually looked more shocked and accusing than me, though she was accusing _herself_.

"I had to do it," she tried to explain, "you had a faraway look in your eyes and it was starting to scare me and—"

"No, Connie," I replied with a smile, trying to be positive for my friend (_your __only__ friend_, the voice inside my head mocked) and attempting to be all smiley like that beautiful lady was. "It's alright."

Speaking of the beautiful lady, I have a ship to run.

As I moved over to the _actual_ controls, Connie began to get suspicious.

"What are you doing, Nina?" She asked, "Do you have a plan?" She began to get hopeful at the thought of maybe being able to escape this nightmare – I mean, for goodness sake, we haven't even properly began to set sail, we're barely even in our journey.

"Yes, I do," I said, peering back at her and grinning as I finally figured out how to do it.

After a couple of long silences as I continued to work things out, Connie could hold it in no longer. "_Nina!_" I turned around. "Look!" She pointed with her finger as I did moments ago. I followed her finger and saw the front of the ship in a near collision with the _SS New York_.

"Crap," I swore as I quickly got onto work. I felt Connie's disapproving stare on my back but she didn't say anything.

"Nina, hurry," I noticed a note of panic in her voice which caused my stress levels to raise, but I couldn't let that get to me.

All around us everyone else up on deck seemed to finally notice that we're going on a head-on collision with the _SS New York_ and I had a feeling that soon the officers on board the _Titanic_ would start to get into action and I really wanted to leave quickly without them noticing that I was even in the room. Maybe blame it on a ghost…

_What? I had already gotten on the wrong side of Mr Murdoch already and I wish to have no more officers be disappointed in me, because otherwise I fear that I may _literally_ be thrown overboard._

_And I am risking my life trying to save us all here. Some people…_

"_Nina!_" The tone of voice said that we were about to hit _pronto_ so I gave up and just turned the wheel sharply to the side to try and avoid collision.

Everybody seemed to scream as they were all suddenly pulled to the side as I sharply turned the wheel – gravity seemed to pull hats from heads, bags from shoulders and coats from shoulders. It would've been pretty amusing if it weren't so real.

It all seemed to be in slow motion though, there was blood running through my whole body – I mean, I'm not thick, I already knew that – but I actually _felt_ it coursing through my veins, pumping through my ears, and my head… _Damn, I think I may have a headache_.

I think everybody seemed to hold their breaths in those precious few seconds where we didn't know whether we would live or die. I know I did, and I'm pretty sure that Connie did as she took a big, deep breath in. Other people seemed to just pray to God, hoping that they could survive, mothers pulling their children close to them, holding them close, telling them everything's alright.

…

_Oh._

_My._

_GOD._

_We missed them. We freakin' MISSED THEM_._ As in, not going to die anymore. As in, alive. _

_As in, I freakin' saved everyone by not even supposed to be here. But I was anyway, and I __did it__ anyway._

A gun cocked behind us both.

"Turn around slowly and put your hands above your heads where we can see them." Silence. "_Now, please!_"

Connie and I both turned around to be faced with a whole loud of officers, the constable and other people who I do not know.

_We're screwed._

**Yay! I managed to finally do this chapter! :D I hope it met your expectations. Please review and tell me what you like and dislike about it. I want to know what people think and what I can do to improve so please tell me **

**Thank you for reading, as always ;)**


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